Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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