you win again, gameday.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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