Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
