I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
