Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
