I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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