Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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