Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
