I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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