just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
