Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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