worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
