I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
