I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
