Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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