I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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