I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
