Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
