i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
