with your own penis?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
