Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
