when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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