i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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