Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Terrible idea I love it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
