just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
last night I used snow as a chaser
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