And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
