Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
