I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
