I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
