why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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