my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
