And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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