somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
