I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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