I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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