I hate all girls vehemently.
I skipped work to stalk him.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
