I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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