i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
