i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
