so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
