Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
