All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
