watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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