i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
