i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
