Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
