Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
