We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You pole danced in your parka.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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