Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

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(443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms http://tfl.nu/2y09

Replies (22) Good night (4755) Bad night (1132)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I can't believe he cheated

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

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(860): I can't believe he cheated (1-860): Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how http://tfl.nu/8j5c

Replies (37) Good night (1105) Bad night (3158)
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(972): View more from Texas

some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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(972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/2gcf

Replies (32) Good night (13895) Bad night (1140)
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(989): View more from Michigan

News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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(989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0

Replies (22) Good night (4711) Bad night (1082)
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(206): View more from Washington

I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

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(206): I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers. http://tfl.nu/k6c6

Replies (26) Good night (6320) Bad night (743)
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(954): View more from Florida

thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.

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(954): thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much. http://tfl.nu/ll22

Replies (27) Good night (7701) Bad night (1314)
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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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(310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc

Replies (8) Good night (1338) Bad night (3773)
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(310): View more from California

He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone

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(310): He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone http://tfl.nu/3ij4

Replies (18) Good night (6623) Bad night (1092)
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(937): View more from Ohio

She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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(937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu

Replies (10) Good night (2625) Bad night (1241)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.

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(248): We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer. http://tfl.nu/kn8l

Replies (8) Good night (3516) Bad night (1320)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.

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(520): I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special. http://tfl.nu/erlc

Replies (8) Good night (3659) Bad night (664)
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(913): View more from Kansas

My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.

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(913): My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one. http://tfl.nu/ad80

Replies (9) Good night (1249) Bad night (1099)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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(770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss

Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (1014)
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(573): View more from Missouri

She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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(573): She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex. http://tfl.nu/fa1q

Replies (10) Good night (1370) Bad night (711)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

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(937): I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key. http://tfl.nu/73ox

Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (206)

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