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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're upset about this?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where I am but there are firefighters

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.

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