You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day