Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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  (586): In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson. http://tfl.nu/nef3
  Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He told me I remind him of his sister...

  (917): View more from New York City

  Was this before or after you did it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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  (512): He told me I remind him of his sister... (917): Was this before or after you did it? (512): before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during. http://tfl.nu/66ff
  Replies (7) Good night (530) Bad night (2613)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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  (919): i must have dtf stamped on my forehead http://tfl.nu/gk7r
  Replies (41) Good night (2731) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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  (703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2 http://tfl.nu/k675
  Replies (47) Good night (3953) Bad night (9330) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

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  (206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h
  Replies (47) Good night (15045) Bad night (682)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.

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  (229): please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room. http://tfl.nu/c4g1
  Replies (19) Good night (7209) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?

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  (361): Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one? http://tfl.nu/k16y
  Replies (15) Good night (8649) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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  (217): he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids http://tfl.nu/l2up
  Replies (12) Good night (985) Bad night (4379) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.

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  (202): That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence. http://tfl.nu/ugku
  Replies (6) Good night (2134) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  you want your laptop back?

  (1-916): View more from California

  are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

  (916): View more from California

  both.

  (1-916): View more from California

  come over.

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  (916): you want your laptop back? (1-916): are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex? (916): both. (1-916): come over. http://tfl.nu/ikpf
  Replies (6) Good night (3232) Bad night (659)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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  (603): ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS http://tfl.nu/rbdc
  Replies (12) Good night (1737) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...

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  (206): When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person... http://tfl.nu/69cl
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (1108)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard

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  (917): You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard http://tfl.nu/7qxy
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (1911) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house

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  (914): bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house http://tfl.nu/ryv7
  Replies (5) Good night (274) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt

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