Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

Replies (21) Good night (671) Bad night (2403)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

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(405): We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed. http://tfl.nu/cgfh

Replies (40) Good night (6303) Bad night (523)
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(407): View more from Florida

Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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(407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e

Replies (9) Good night (4631) Bad night (968)
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(313): View more from Michigan

So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.

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(313): So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college. http://tfl.nu/hsa9

Replies (4) Good night (3146) Bad night (941)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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(+44): He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week http://tfl.nu/00sr

Replies (13) Good night (1273) Bad night (3829)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out

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(610): Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out http://tfl.nu/ac78

Replies (7) Good night (3690) Bad night (1153)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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(540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2

Replies (3) Good night (3033) Bad night (598)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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(602): You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice. http://tfl.nu/i4j5

Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (1403)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.

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(865): If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan. http://tfl.nu/8pg6

Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (578)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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(720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi

Replies (15) Good night (2376) Bad night (939)
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(716): View more from New York

Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!

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(716): Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick! http://tfl.nu/u1do

Replies (15) Good night (969) Bad night (1183)
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(925): View more from California

I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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(925): I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability http://tfl.nu/3svt

Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (378)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

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(870): Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal http://tfl.nu/uj9w

Replies (9) Good night (698) Bad night (217)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.

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(616): I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside. http://tfl.nu/l42r

Replies (2) Good night (182) Bad night (528)
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(315): View more from New York

she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho

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(315): she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho http://tfl.nu/b0zw

Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (188)

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