In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
