Christians are straight up FREAKS
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I FOUND THE LEGS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
