i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
