I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
