You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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