Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
