obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
