i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
