Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
