the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
